My Thing.

I am the kind of girl when I cry, I cry.
When I fall for someone, I fall hard.
People are telling me I'm too intense when it comes to emotions.

I stare into spaces.

If I were to ask what's wrong. I would just say nothing.
But really, I'm sitting and wondering what I've done wrong.
What I have done differently.
How I could change everything if I had the chance.
and if I had the chance to go back and do it over again, would it still be the same?

I am not good at relationships
I always manage to find flaws.
sometimes in others, but mostly on my own.
I foretell the ending, then go and create the cause
save my self, and end up alone.
But, I am always the one who loves more, that's my thing.

I don't give up easily.
I fight for what I want.
It takes a lot for me to actually give up for someone or something.
I just can't throw away all the time and hard work I put into it.
I can't just give up because times are hard, especially when that person means so much to me.
I keep fighting for what I want until I can't fight anymore.
Until giving up is the option i left.
But I guess if I love someone, I will let them move on.

Awakened.

Now, It's 2 am and I'm sitting alone at my study-table,in the dark
writing and aching for you.
While you are asleep on your own bed, far from here,
dreaming for someone else.
Pain did it to me every night.
This is more then death. >.<

But You Are Not Even Mine.

Last night, we lay on bed
You were holding my hands.
Sharing same blanket.
I can feel you breathing.
I was staring at the ceiling, wondering if you have any idea of what i am feeling.
Spending the best Bedtime with the guy who means so much to me
I don't know how it happened, was that a dream, again?
I don't want to fall asleep,
All i want is to look in his eyes.
That was not the place i expected to end up,

And it is not with Him i expected to be with after sundown and before sunrise.

'twas 'round 3am and we both are still awake,
We play like we're bothers and sisters at home.
And there goes again our mean talks.
I love our pointless conversations, they don't make a lot of sense though,
but they mean everything to me.
tear forms on my eyes, and i am trying to fight it back.
Nothing, I am just happy we're together, once more.

Little later, i fell asleep. We both do.
I woke up facing the window, I can see the ray of the sun, as if shinning for us.
I can still feel him, breathing, sleeping behind me.
And I was like "Boy, you give me everything just by breathing"
And I whisper a morning prayer while i am holding his left warm palm with mine.
I somehow thank God for waking up with Him, hand in hand.
And I feel it better when he's around, i wish we'd stay, like this.

We started fixing ourselves 'cause we have to go.
My mind scares me every time. I mean, Every second I'm with him
would add the pain I am going to suffer later.
because He is not even Mine.